Relief Society President

Story Time.

The week of Thanksgiving, Mark got a call asking if we could meet with the Bishop for a couple minutes. The whole day I was teasing Mark about what calling he was going to get. I already had two and so I was excited to see what lay ahead for him.

We got to the church and Mark immediately went back with our Bishop, while I stayed in the foyer with the kiddos. After a couple minutes, Bishop came and got me, and I went in winking at Mark as I entered, excited to hear what he had been called to.

The Bishop then said that he wanted to ask me to serve as the Relief Society President in our ward. I looked at Mark who was sitting next to me grinning and I blurted out “WHAT?!!!”. It was probably the most undignified I have ever been in being extended a calling, but oh goodness, I was NOT expecting it at all. I had been serving in the Relief Society Presidency for about three months when I received the call, and I had no idea changes were coming.

I spent the remainder of our meeting staring at the ceiling. My mind was absolutely racing. The Bishop said many encouraging things but I couldn’t focus. We walked out and got the kids, we drove home and Mark and I didn’t say a word, I got the kids in bed, Mark left to go to work, and I paced in my bedroom for a good 30 minutes.

The feeling of inadequacy was RAGING. And I had no idea how I was going to do this calling with everything that was already on my plate. Just the week prior, I had been praying to my Heavenly Father, completely overwhelmed and feeling like I was failing in so many aspects of my life. The timing seemed so wrong.

It was hard not being able to talk to anyone about it. Mark was gone and so I was just left alone with a lot of negative thoughts. But once I finally got myself on my knees, and prayed, I immediately thought of another time when I felt very inadequate in a calling. And I remembered a line in my patriarchal blessing that has been a CRUTCH ever since.

The Sunday before Christmas, I was sustained and set apart, as well as my presidency (notice how the blog pretty much froze right around Thanksgiving when I was extended the call).

This calling has been the hardest calling I have ever had in my life. The feelings of inadequacy are still hard to subdue some days. I have had to witness so many difficulties. My heart has felt so much pain for the families and sisters in our ward. It has been a tremendous learning curve (and I am definitely still on it) and some days everything feels relentless, BUT I have seen the Lord’s hand in so much.

I am very humbled and pray every day that I can share the love of our Savior with those I encounter. The Lord continues to stretch and shape me and I pray that I can be what the sisters in my ward need me to be.